fomo(w)

Amy: But everybody else is there, right? I mean, it seems weird to have this big thing happen without me. 

Jake: We talked about this, Amy. You have an unhealthy fear of missing out on work. You have FOMOW. 

Amy: This isn't FOMOW. It's not like I'm freaking out or anything.

The first time I ever encountered the acronym FOMO was when I watched Brooklyn 99. 

I can remember vividly watching Amy do everything in her power to be at the precinct when there was a hacker in the building. Watching her cancel all of her appointments, facetiming Jake as she ran out on the street, dentist bib still hanging from her neck...

s6e14: ticking clocks

I remember thinking same. I, too, would do anything in my power to be at any mildly interesting event. 

There's a dull ache in my throat whenever I see people enjoy events without me. I mean, I know I shouldn't be feeling like this. It's not exactly something to be proud of. But I hate missing out, especially when they've invited me and I have to begrudgingly say no, I'm not allowed to go.

It's hard to have FOMO when your parents are overprotective. Well, I say overprotective, but they're really just anti-fun sometimes. I mean, I know that it's for the better. Too many outings is too much time. Too much energy spent. No one wants to deal with that.

Except me! I wanna be everywhere. I wanna be invited to places, brunches, your totally gorgeous older brother's lacrosse game that's literally across the street. 

But yeah. Still not allowed to go. Thanks for the invite, though.

When I realized that FOMO was an actual thing, and something absolutely normal, I rejoiced. Bought myself pains au chocolat and everything. I was like...omg, I'm not a bad person. But why does FOMO even exist in the first place? What is FOMO? 

Well, the first thing you need to know about FOMO is that I have it, and it's not something I'm proud of. I scroll through Instagram and see pictures of a party I didn't know about and my heart aches, even though I've literally never said a word to the person who threw the party. Like, I know you don't know me, but you should've invited me. 

It's pretty awful.

FOMO is the acronym for the fear of missing out. It's the feeling you get when you see other people enjoy things without you, the unease you feel when you know they're doing something exciting, life-changing, or even just plain boring...but they're doing it without you. It's the explosive feeling in your stomach whenever someone passes you over to invite another person because well, Ria, you're not allowed to go anyway. 

Again, it's awful.

So yeah. I consider it a social issue because it concerns me, and I know a lot people have dealt with this feeling at least thrice before. I say thrice because there's no way you've only felt it once or twice. It has to have happened at least thrice.

Why does FOMO exist anyway? To make us feel bad about ourselves? Well, a quick google search yields this answer:

...People are twice as affected by losses as they are by gains. So it makes sense that our instinct is to avoid the pain of missing out, and dwell on our defeat if we do.

Like I said, it's totally normal. Explained by science and everything. It's basically in our nature to have FOMO. 

FOMO primarily exists on the internet, because social media has given us the ability to share everything with every person ever, and this means you can see every fun thing they've done with just a search of their username. 

What I do to avoid FOMO is...this is gonna sound strange, but I turn off my phone. 

Gasp. How can someone live without their phone?! Well, I have my iPad and my laptop, and it's much easier to ignore social media with a bigger screen  - well, at least, for me. I play games, watch a show, or something and forget about all of it.

Here is my advice: do something you enjoy and forget about everyone else.

You are the most important thing in your life. Nothing else matters.

FOMO can actually help, too. It's motivated me to do things I would've never done otherwise. Oh, we're going parasailing? I'm terrified, but I wanna be around you, so I'M COMING. DON'T INVITE ANOTHER PERSON INSTEAD OF ME. Smiley face. 

Then I beg my parents to let me go. The probability is like a solid 44.8%. Now that I'm almost 18, I think it's going to get higher. Even if they don't let me go, my FOMO will somehow find a way to get me on that trip, and the rational Ria has to deal with the consequences.

FOMO is like a disease - it eats at you and exploits your insecurities. But I'm glad I got to try things because of my FOMO. And it's totally normal to have it! You shouldn't feel bad for experiencing it. There's literal scientific proof that says it's in our nature. And if there's one thing we've learned from the past decade, it's that we have to trust scientists. They're on our side.

FOMO is kind of an ugly acronym though. They have to change it one of these days. I think I've said FOMO more times in this post than I ever did in real life.